There are some things about our house my parents do not know.

Like when you pull the bath plug, where does all the water go?

A massive, greedy crocodile is hiding underneath,

And if you peer down deep enough, you’ll see his glistening teeth!

I don’t want him to have too much or he might pop, I fret.

I make sure I slosh plenty out, but make the floor all wet.

Mums not happy at the mess she always tuts and sighs.

Its better that, than crocs insides, at least the water dries!

 

Then there’s the toilet problem, where I never, ever flush.

My dad thinks that I just forget, because I’m in a rush.

But no! That’s not the case you see, it’s not me being lazy.

If my parents knew the truth, I’m sure they would go crazy!

Behind the loo, under the pipe, there is a beetles nest.

They’re dung beetles to be precise, Mum wouldn’t be impressed.

So when I’ve done my business, they Climb up onto the seat.

The clue is in the name, bet you can guess what those guys eat.

I wouldn’t hurt a single one, so never pull the chain.

I wouldn’t want my beetle buddies whirling down the drain!

 

And when I leave my dinner and mum throws it in the bin,

Its just because my monster mate is hiding deep within.

It’s where he crouches all day long, just waiting for his meal.

If mum looked in and saw his hairy snout, how she would squeal!

Instead I get told off, but it is worth it in the end.

I’d rather get in trouble, than deprive my monster friend.

The yuckier the better, bits of cabbage, soggy sprout.

He gobbles up the lot before he quietly creeps out.

 

And all the clothes upon my floor? The wardrobe open wide?

Of course its for my lama BFF that sleeps inside.

Twice a day I brush my teeth I always clean the sink.

But then the lama does his too, or else his breath would stink!

And lamas spit a lot, I just don’t have the time to clean it.

I barely get to hide him before Dads already seen it!

 

So if you do have children, stop and think before you shout.

About the sinks, the smelly loos, the clothes laying about.

It may not simply be because your child is a slob,

And doesn’t care if all the mess gives you an extra job.

To all the angry parents raging dads and moaning mums

Is your child helping out his special secret chums..?